"Do not draw your sword to kill a fly." - Korean Proverb

Since after giving birth, my temper became really bad. I get mad so fast. My expectations are too high and no matter how I deny it, I have met the monster in me. It's not easy to be a mom, a servant of the Lord and a career woman at the same time. Thanks to this book entitled "Eve" that I am turning to be somehow a better person now (compared to the past months). I guess. It taught me that we have several missions in life. It taught me about balance while achieving the purposes of why I am here on earth. There are days when we feel overwhelm that we wanted to have our dreams, aspirations and desires all at the same time. There are also times when we focus on one specific mission, and leave the rest. I realized that there are ways sequentially to have it all at their own perfect time. Maybe not at the same time but through seasons of time.  I need to accept a lot of things I couldn't change and trust God more as I continue my journey.

When you set a goal to be something, you need to write down specific ways to achieve them especially when they are habits or an attitude. It's not enough to say, I want to be patient. I will be patient this week. Changing a behavior requires hard work. I am learning to control my anger by writing each moment when I got mad to my "Anger Log" journal. I write down the date, time and the reason that triggered me to react on a certain way to a situation. I realized that I am most vulnerable when I am hungry, lacked of sleep and when I wasn't able to finish the things I planned to accomplish. Preventing myself from these traps helps a lot to remain compose.

To be a noble gas is the second most important lesson I've been learning lately. A noble gas is a non-reactant element. Whatever you combine with it, noble gasses never respond. I believe this is important too in reality. We need to choose our battles. We should never let any circumstance or people to provoke us to response in a way that do not define our real beauty. It's never easy but I guess that's what Heavenly Father wants us to be.

I am really thankful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. It's helping me a lot to never give up on myself despite of my reoccurring weaknesses and mistakes. His atonement enables me to keep going and hope with a perfect brightness that one day I will become the person He wants me to be.


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